You Don’t Have to Do It All: A Soft Spring Reset to Prevent Burnout

Joy Dixon Paul: Hey there and welcome to Joyfully Black, the podcast where we redefine self care and mental wellness for black women and women of color. I'm your host, Joy Dixon Paul, and here we will explore the strategies and stories that help you thrive, whether you're balancing careers, families, or the demands of community life.

Because staying in the black isn't just about managing your finances. It's about managing your life with joy and attention.

Hey, y'all. Welcome to Joyfully Black, the podcast that helps you stay in the black without burning out. I am your host, Joy Dixon Paul, and today we are talking about the pressure to do it all, especially during this time of year when the world is screaming new season, new you.

And now I know what you may be thinking. Don't they say that in January? Yes,

but as we know, spring is here known as a time of renewal. And it is often marketed as a time for glow ups, makeovers and productivity surges.

And today, I want to offer a softer take.

What if this season wasn't about doing more?

So, yes, this is going to be a solo episode today, of course,

we're going to have guests in upcoming episodes. But today it's me and you.

And I really want to ask you, as we're thinking about spring in a different way, is what if spring is about what's doing, what's aligned,

what's sustainable and what feels true to where you are right now.

So let's get into it.

Spring energy.

Okay. New season, new me. Getting ready. Get your summer body ready. All that jazz,

the whole trap of now I have to catch up. Listen, spring just carries this energy of reawakening, of just awakening in general. And it's beautiful. The flowers are blooming, the sun is warmer, the days are longer.

Thank goodness. I, for one, love having extra, extra hours of sunlight.

And all of a sudden, we are just expected to come alive. Hustle harder. Launch something clean. Everything. Yes. You know what I mean with the whole spring cleaning. Lose weight, gain clarity, make a five step plan for success.

But here's the thing.

Seasonal shifts are not mandates.

They are invitations.

Spring doesn't require you to prove anything. It's not a deadline,

it's a rhythm. And rhythm is personal.

And if you are feeling inspired to plant something new, to shift directions,

Beautiful, beautiful. Lean into that.

But if you are feeling the urge to pause,

reevaluate, or simply exist without fixing or finessing anything, that's spring, too.

Every flower doesn't bloom at the same time.

Every tree doesn't bud on cue.

So why are we holding ourselves to a standard of constant, accelerated growth.

That doesn't mean no growth, because as you know, your girl is a personal development junkie, so to speak. I love. Love to learn, love to grow. But oftentimes it can get out of hand and we have to ask ourselves why, right?

And it makes me think about the strong black woman trope in spring clothing, so to speak. It's one that many of us grew up hearing about and how it just really rears its head and how we approach the world, right?

And how we decide to show up. So I'd love to talk about how the strong black woman identity really shows up in very sneaky ways,

especially this time of year.

You know, we've been conditioned to wear strength like it is our birthright,

to take pride in how much we carry,

to collect accolades for surviving without support.

And even in seasons of renewal, that mindset doesn't just go away after all we have worn. We have cloaked this around ourselves as a badge of honor, many of us.

And so it morphs. This mindset can morph,

and it turns into things and thoughts, like, I should be doing more.

Why am I not further along?

Or I can rest after I finish these 8,000 things.

But here's the truth.

You don't have to earn rest by overextending yourself first.

You don't have to keep proving that you can handle everything,

and you don't have to do it all,

even if you can. And let's face it,

you probably could, but you don't have to.

What you can do, though,

is choose peace.

You can choose pace,

how you're going to pace yourself right now, and you can even choose to put something down and not apologize for it.

Now, you all know I am a big believer in sometimes you have to use muscles, right? Give yourself muscle memory. Especially when something. When a practice is unfamiliar to you.

So what might this look like when you're practicing choosing to put something down, choosing your own pace and not apologizing for it?

So I was talking to a friend of mine who was reading a book, and me as a bibliophile, I was asking, yo, what book are you reading? As I want to do?

And she was sharing the book she was reading, but, you know, she's not enjoying it at all. And so I asked, you know,

are you reading this for a book club? No. Are you reading this for work? No.

Are you reading this for. Are you taking a class or getting a certification? No, she. No, it was just. I asked, you know, well, why are you reading this book is fiction.

Why, you know, it's fictional. Fictional book rather, why are you reading it?

And so she said, oh, it's just on my list. I had this goal, of course, naturally, a friend, a goal getter, of course she's going to have a goal of reading so many books per month, you know, in a year, so forth.

Right.

And so her reason for continuing the book, you know, I was not surprised by as I too, you know, used to make myself read books even though it was, I could have just put it down.

But it's practicing that muscle, right? When you are so accustomed to pushing through discomfort.

It is very unfamiliar to put something down if it's no longer serving its purpose. It's unfamiliar. And so I use this as a small example of how we can practice a muscle in a low stakes way of when you can put something down and not feel the need to apologize for it.

So I asked this friend, you know, what would happen if you stop reading this book you don't enjoy? Because it's not like she doesn't have other obligations between a very demanding career, helping out with family, obligations with, you know, parents and,

and of course trying to make sure she's drinking her water and stay fit and all of those things, right?

And she thought for a moment and said, well, I guess nothing.

It's not like she didn't have another book on the list, one that she was actually very excited to read, right.

And so, you know, ultimately she just, she text me later and say, you know what, I'm going on to the new book. Like, it's not like I have to read this right now.

That doesn't mean in, in high stakes things that you might not decide to persevere. But going back to this practice of exercising a muscle in a low stakes way, this is a way that you can practice putting something down and saying I can choose peace.

This is not,

this is not bringing any sort of joy or positivity or even help me reach, you know, this higher version of myself, right? And this is very low stakes way of exercising this muscle.

And it leads me into my next point of sometimes you're not even aware when you are doing too much, even if it's good stuff because there's nothing wrong with reading, right?

Like I said, that's just a small example.

But there may be signs that you might be carrying or normalizing overwhelm as, as a driven woman, as a person who is a goal getters want to do. So let's talk about some of those signs that you might Be carrying too much right now.

Because these signs are not always dramatic.

Sometimes it's subtle.

It may look like, you know, maybe you have a packed calendar, but still feel like you're falling behind.

It's, you know, you're moving from task to task, but struggling to connect with your why.

Maybe you're saying yes by default and then secretly hoping it get canceled or you are technically functioning, but joy feels distant.

If any of those examples resonate with you,

this is my loving invitation for you to reassess.

Not everything needs to stay on your plate just because it made sense in a past season.

Perhaps it served the person you were three years ago, maybe even a year ago, maybe even a month ago.

But it's okay to shift what you're holding if it no longer makes sense now.

When you are accustomed to this overwhelmed feeling,

you might not even know what it would look like to have a reset.

So what does the spring reset actually look like?

It doesn't have to be dramatic.

It can look like small,

intentional shifts that bring you closer to balance.

And so here's a few questions to sit with and ask yourself as you are going into this. This. This soft reset of spring, right?

Ask yourself, what am I saying yes to? Out of habit, not desire.

That's something I had to ask myself, right?

What can I let go of without guilt?

Maybe it's saying I'm skipping this book on the on the list, but I'm going to another one that I'm really going to enjoy.

Or ask yourself, what would feel like enough this month?

Where do I need more support and what am I proud of right now without changing a thing?

And then reimagine spring from a values lens instead of chasing the usual new season, new goals, energy.

What if you chose presence over pressure,

ease over. Over functioning,

sustainability over speed and depth over just doing a reset for you. Then might just look like setting clear boundaries around your energy.

Returning to a creative practice you miss. Maybe it's painting, which doesn't have to be as expensive as you think the dollar tree exists, right? They they do sell paints. It might not be like the good stuff.

I just say that as a person who's just in dollar tree and was like, oh wow, it's so cool.

Return to a creative practice you miss saying no more quickly and yes, more intentionally.

And it's rebuilding routines that honor your real life,

not your ideal one and all. Transparency and full transparency. Like that's one that I am currently working on myself.

As a person. You probably can relate to this as you are A person who's a goal getter driven, used to doing all the things, you know, we constantly live into this future mindset, which I will admit has served me well.

Has served. Probably has served you well also. Right?

But there is a time and a place to reevaluate and not think about what could be. But what is happening now, giving ourselves space to say, what can I do now that honors the place I am in right now, not who I want to be?

There's. There's a time and place for that. But what's going on in this moment?

And if you're the kind of woman who knows how to push through, which it's very likely you are, you are known for doing it all.

I know that you do not need another pep talk about rising and grinding you. You could do that in your sleep. You've written the book, you on a tour for it.

Okay.

But maybe you could use reminders like you are allowed to do less,

you are allowed to bloom slowly,

you are allowed to rest while the world wakes up,

and you are allowed to be successful without being stressed.

So this spring, I hope that you release the version of you that performs for approval for external validation.

And I hope that you return to or meet if you haven't, if you're not returning, if you are meeting this person, meeting the version of you who is grounded,

joyful and whole,

whether or not she crosses everything off the list.

And so that's today's reminder.

You don't have to do it all, even if you can.

Let's face it, I'm sure you could. I'm sure you can.

But this spring, let the reset be internal.

Let it be rooted in what feels nourishing and not just what looks impressive.

I hope today's episode resonated with you, and if it did, share with a friend who's in her own season of resetting. And as always,

don't forget to follow Joyfully Black on Instagram oifullyblk and join the email list@joyfully black.com that's joyfullyblk.com and of course, we have events and resources coming your way that's going to help keep you grounded all season long.

So with that being said, take care of yourself,

be kind to your rhythm, and bloom on your own time.

And I'll talk to you next time. Let's stay in the black, y'all.

Thank you for joining me on this episode of Joyfully Black. Remember, taking care of yourself isn't a luxury, it's a necessity. If you enjoyed today's conversation. Please be sure to subscribe, share and leave a five star review and you can keep the conversation going by connecting with our community on Instagram at Joyfully Black.

That's Joyfully BLK on Instagram. Until next time, stay in the black, y'all.